Sunday, March 29, 2009

A Lent Story

It occurs to me that I haven't put much faith-centric material up here.

So. A story.

Once upon a time, a hard working blue-collar guy by the name of Bubba lived in a neighborhood that was largely populated by Catholics. Bubba was a hunter who always had a freezer of venision steaks. It was his habit on Fridays, after work, to fire up the grill and cook steak. The delightful aroma would float through the neighborhood.

It was less delightful during Lent, when observant Catholics were called to forgo meat. Several of the families were so upset they went to the parish priest. The priest visited Bubba and suggested that Bubba - who spoke approvingly of his neighbors and their taste in beer - consider becoming Catholic.

Well, after several sessions with the priest and much study, Bubba finally presented himself before the bishop and was confirmed a Catholic. As Bubba knelt at the altar during Easter Vigil, the Bishop sprinkled him with holy water and intoned: "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic." Bubba attended Mass the rest of the week, continued to join the congregation regularly, and was even seen to help out the local Catholic high school's baseketball team.

All seemed well, until the very next Lent, when, on Friday, the tantalizing scent of grilling venision wafted through the neighborhood. The neighbors called the priest in distress, the priest rushed to Bubba's house, stole and rosary flying. As the priest came through the side gate, he spied Bubba at the grill, a bottle in one hand and grilling tongs in the other. As the priest advanced, prepared to admonish Bubba, he stopped, struck by the actions Bubba performed.

As Bubba raised the little bottle of holy water, he chanted: "You was born a deer, you was raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

***

No, that's not how a non-Catholic becomes a Catholic. And no, it's not typical anymore for neighborhoods to call in the priest to settle disputes.

But, seriously, if God can manage to save the crooked timber of sinful humanity, and do the whole water-to-wine thing, I would think a little deer-to-fish transformation would be a piece of cake.

***

Noted without much comment: Sec State Clinton visits Mexico, shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

I'm glad she visited. I hope it gives her the opportunity to learn more about Catholism, and the Church in America, and in Mexico.

2 comments:

Alexander Field said...

Funny story, did you make that up on the spot?...I especially like the language you used: "crooked timber of sinful humanity.." Very nice. Anyway, thanks for posting!

Kerani said...

Nope, I 'borrowed' it from our pastor this last Sunday. (The story, I mean. The commentary was mine, but the 'crooked timber' I stole, too.)

All my best lines are stolen. *sigh*

Thanks for stopping by - I saw your post on 'favorite SSF worlds to visit' and am working up a list of my own - great list!